Episode 62: When Regret Becomes an Anchor

November 03, 2025

💬 Episode Summary

What do you do when life doesn’t turn out the way you expected?

Maybe the story you’re living looks nothing like the one you once imagined — and the disappointment feels heavy. You replay old decisions, question where you went wrong, and tell yourself that life should have gone differently.

In this honest and hope-filled episode, Trisha Stanton explores what happens when reflection turns into rumination — and how regret, if left unchecked, can become an anchor that keeps you stuck in dismay and defeat.

You’ll learn how to release the mental loop of “I should have…” and start telling a new story — one grounded in compassion, growth, and faith.

Because your past doesn’t define your future — unless you let it.

🪞 Key Takeaways

Reflection helps; rumination harms. The difference is whether you’re learning or looping.
Regret is meant to be a teacher, not a prison.
You can’t change the facts of your past, but you can change the story you tell about them.
Faith reframes failure. God redeems what we release.
Freedom begins when you stop rehearsing regret and start writing a new chapter.

💭 Reflection Questions

1️⃣ What story are you currently telling yourself about how your life has turned out?
2️⃣ How is that story serving — or limiting — you?
3️⃣ What would it sound like to tell the truth through grace instead of guilt?

🌿 Try This

When you find yourself replaying a regret, pause and ask:

Is this thought helping me move forward, or keeping me stuck?
Then replace it with a new one:

“I did the best I could with what I knew then — and I’m learning to move forward now.”

✨ Favorite Quotes

“Regret is meant to be a moment of learning, not a lifelong loop.”
“You can’t live forward while replaying backward.”
“The weight isn’t in what happened — it’s in the story you keep retelling.”
“God doesn’t erase regret. He redeems it.”
“The story isn’t over because the picture changed.”

🙏 Faith Reflection

God never wastes a chapter.
Even the ones that didn’t go as planned can be rewritten with grace.
He can’t redeem what you refuse to release — but the moment you let go, He begins transforming the pain into purpose.

📣 Call to Action

If this message spoke to your heart, share it with someone who might be carrying the weight of regret.

And if you’re ready to let go of the old story and create a new one — one filled with clarity, peace, and direction — let’s talk.
Schedule a free consultation with Trisha at trishastanton.com.

Because your life doesn’t have to look like the one you imagined to still be beautiful, purposeful, and free. 💛

Episode Transcript

🎙️ Running to Myself
Episode Title: When Regret Becomes an Anchor
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INTRO
Hey friend, welcome back to Running to Myself.
I’m your host, Trisha Stanton — life coach and someone who knows what it feels like to wake up one day and realize your life doesn’t look anything like the one you imagined.
Maybe you thought you’d be married by now… or still married.
Maybe you thought your kids would be doing better.
Maybe your career would’ve taken off.
Maybe you thought your health, your relationships, your finances, or even your faith would be stronger at this stage.
Whatever the specifics — the ache is the same.
It’s that unsettling thought that lingers: This isn’t how I thought it would be.
And in that space, it’s easy to get stuck.
To start replaying all the “what ifs” and “should haves.”
To build a story around disappointment — and then unknowingly start living from that story.
Today we’re talking about what happens when the plan for your life falls apart, and how to stop letting regret write your story.
Because there’s a difference between reflecting on your past to grow — and rehearsing it until it keeps you stuck.
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SEGMENT 1: WHEN LIFE DOESN’T MATCH THE PICTURE
We all have a picture in our minds of how life is supposed to go.
We form that picture early — through our families, our culture, our faith, our dreams.
For me, that picture included raising a family, building stability, finding purpose, and eventually settling into a peaceful, simple life.
And while parts of that picture are real — the path to get here has looked nothing like I imagined.
Life rarely follows the script.
It’s full of detours, delays, and unexpected turns.
Sometimes we end up in a place we never meant to go — and we can’t quite find our way back to what we pictured.
And that gap — between expectation and reality — can be painful.
It can feel like loss, even when good things remain.
We start comparing where we are to where we thought we’d be.
And if we’re not careful, disappointment becomes our default setting.
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SEGMENT 2: THE DANGER OF THE NEGATIVE STORY
When life doesn’t turn out as expected, your brain wants to make sense of it.
It’s wired to tell stories — and often, it fills in the blanks with blame, regret, or shame.
It sounds like this:
“I should’ve known better.”
“I wasted so many years.”
“I made the wrong decision.”
“I missed my chance.”
And before you realize it, that one narrative starts playing on repeat.
What started as reflection turns into rumination.
And rumination doesn’t bring wisdom — it brings weight.
It’s like you’re dragging an anchor through the years —
not noticing that the heaviness isn’t coming from what happened, but from the story you’re still telling about it.
The more you replay it, the more your brain believes it’s still happening.
And that’s how people get stuck — not in the event itself, but in the mental movie of it.
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SEGMENT 3: REGRET AS AN ANCHOR
Regret can be a helpful teacher once.
It’s meant to be a moment of learning — not a lifelong loop.
But when we replay regret over and over —
when we keep re-reading the chapter we wish we could rewrite —
it stops being a tool and becomes an anchor.
It doesn’t guide you forward; it holds you in place.
Here’s the hard truth:
You can’t live a meaningful, forward-facing life if your mental energy is anchored in what can’t be changed.
Regret becomes destructive when it shifts from awareness to identity.
When “I made a mistake” becomes “I am a mistake.”
When “That didn’t go as planned” becomes “My life didn’t go as planned, and now it’s too late.”
Friend, that’s not truth — that’s just a thought you’ve rehearsed so long that it feels like truth.
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SEGMENT 4: RECOGNIZING THE LOOP
Let’s pause here and get practical.
How do you know if you’re stuck in a regret loop instead of processing it in a healthy way?
Here are a few signs:
* You frequently replay a specific memory or decision and feel heavy afterward.

* You use phrases like “I can’t believe I…” or “If only I had…” more than you realize.

* You avoid thinking about the future because it feels pointless or too painful.

* You keep waiting for some kind of emotional “resolution” before you’ll move forward.

If any of that sounds familiar — you’re not broken.
You’re just human.
Your brain is trying to find safety by rehashing what already happened, because it’s terrified of what might happen next.
But safety doesn’t come from replaying the past.
It comes from learning how to tell the story differently.
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SEGMENT 5: SHIFTING THE STORY
Here’s where mindset work becomes powerful.
You can’t change the facts of your past.
But you can change the meaning you give them.
This is where coaching and faith intersect beautifully.
In coaching, we look at thoughts and learn to manage them.
In faith, we look at truth and learn to trust it.
Both help us release the grip of regret.
So instead of thinking,
“I ruined everything,”
you can choose,
“I learned things the hard way, but I learned them.”
Instead of,
“It’s too late,”
you can think,
“My story isn’t finished yet.”
Instead of,
“I wish I could go back,”
you can choose,
“I can’t go back, but I can go forward differently.”
You’re not denying reality — you’re reinterpreting it through growth instead of grief.
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SEGMENT 6: THE FAITH PERSPECTIVE
From a faith lens, nothing in your life is wasted.
Even the painful chapters — the ones you’d never choose to relive — can become part of a redemptive story.
God doesn’t promise to erase your regret; He promises to redeem it.
He can use it as raw material for wisdom, compassion, and strength you couldn’t have developed any other way.
Romans 8:28 says, “All things work together for good for those who love God.”
Not just the good things — all things.
Even the wrong turns, the failures, the seasons you’d rather forget.
But here’s the key:
He can’t work with what you won’t release.
You have to loosen your grip on the regret long enough for grace to get in.
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SEGMENT 7: PRACTICAL STEPS TO RELEASE REGRET
Let’s turn this from concept to practice.
Here are some tangible steps to help you start releasing the story that’s keeping you stuck.
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🪞 Step 1: Name the Moment
Write down the event, season, or decision you keep replaying.
Be honest. Give it a title, like a chapter in a book.
When you name it, you separate you from it.
You’re no longer inside the memory — you’re observing it.
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✍️ Step 2: Identify the Thought
Ask yourself:
“What’s the sentence my brain keeps offering me about this?”
It might sound like:
* “I ruined my life.”

* “I missed my chance.”

* “That mistake cost me everything.”

Just getting that thought on paper starts to break its emotional power.
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💡 Step 3: Challenge the Story
Then ask:
“Is this thought 100% true? Or just familiar?”
“What else could be true here?”
For example:
“I missed my chance” could become “Maybe that chapter was never supposed to be forever.”
“I ruined everything” could become “I made a choice that didn’t go how I hoped — but I’m still here.”
Truth isn’t always soft, but it’s freeing.
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🕊️ Step 4: Forgive Yourself for Being Human
This is where grace steps in.
You can’t heal what you keep punishing yourself for.
Offer yourself the same compassion you would give anyone else.
Say it out loud if you need to:
“I was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time.”
That doesn’t excuse everything — it just ends the war inside your head.
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🌱 Step 5: Choose Forward
Once you’ve released the old story, ask:
“What does forward look like for me?”
It doesn’t have to be a dramatic restart.
It might just be a single new thought, a small next step, or a willingness to hope again.
Forward starts with believing that your past does not get the final word.
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SEGMENT 8: A NEW STORY
When life doesn’t turn out as expected, it’s tempting to close the book and assume the ending is written.
But you’re not at the end of your story — you’re just in the middle of a chapter that’s teaching you something you’ll need for the next one.
Maybe this isn’t the life you pictured, but it can still be a life of purpose, beauty, and meaning.
The story isn’t over because the picture changed.
You can still create peace.
You can still build something new.
You can still become who you were meant to be — right here, in the middle of what you didn’t plan.
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SEGMENT 9: CLOSING ENCOURAGEMENT
Friend, if you’re living with disappointment about how your life has turned out — you’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re just standing in a place that’s asking for grace instead of judgment.
Stop rereading the old chapter, and start writing the next one.
Let regret be a teacher, not a jailer.
Let your story breathe again.
Because no matter how far you’ve wandered from the picture you once painted —
God is still at work in the life you actually have.
And that’s where redemption begins. 💛
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SOFT CALL TO ACTION
If this message spoke to you, share it with someone who might need to hear it today.
And if you’re ready to untangle the stories that keep you stuck — to finally release regret and rebuild from a place of strength — let’s talk.
You can schedule a free consultation at trishastanton.com.
Because your life doesn’t have to look like the picture you once imagined
to still be beautiful, purposeful, and free.