Podcast Episode: Early, Late, or Right On Time?
Hey friend, welcome back to Running to Myself.
Today we are talking about something that on the surface looks simple: Christmas decorating. But what I really want to explore with you is something much deeper than trees and garland and twinkle lights.
We are talking about timing, tradition, personal preference, and the freedom we have to stop making neutral things into moral dilemmas.
Let’s begin.
Picture this: November 1. The jack o’ lanterns are still on porches. Candy wrappers are still in the trash from the night before. I’m still picking peanut M&M’s out of the bowl.
And like clockwork, my social media feed starts filling with Christmas trees.
Some people are fully decked out by breakfast.
Some are still deep in fall mode.
Some won’t even think about it until December 20.
And I found myself asking, again, like I do every year: should I be early this year? Should I wait? What is normal anymore?
At the beginning of October, I even asked my daughter: “When should I decorate this year? Early or late?”
Her response: “Why don’t you just do it at the normal time?”
And I thought, “wait a minute… what is the normal time?”
Because I am old enough to remember when December 1 was considered early. When decorating before December 6 was borderline scandalous.
My son was born in 1997, and we actually put our tree up the weekend before his due date — December 8. I remember thinking, “This feels so early!” As a side note, that was also the last year we ever bought a real tree. That is a whole different story.
Then the next year we moved across the country the weekend of Thanksgiving, and Christmas decorating that year happened basically at the last minute. Our ornaments were barely on the tree before Santa was on his way.
As we moved through the early 2000s, holidays kept shifting with young kids, chaos, travel, sickness, exhaustion — life.
There was one Thanksgiving where one of the kids was sick and asleep, and everyone else was gone. I was home alone with a quiet house, and I pulled the Christmas bins out. It was honestly just something to bring a little joy back into that day.
And that one moment accidentally became a decade long tradition of decorating Thanksgiving night or the day after.
Later, there were years when I was homesick, missing my family so much that I decorated the first week of November. The Christmas lights became comfort, even if it felt wildly early.
And now? This year? The pendulum has swung back. Thanksgiving weekend feels right again.
And here is what I realized in all this back-and-forth:
There is no right or wrong way.
Some decisions have no moral scorecard attached to them. They are just preference.
When should you decorate?
Whenever you want.
When should anyone decorate?
Whenever they want.
And most of the frustration we feel around other people’s choices comes from forgotten truth: a lot of things in life are not moral issues. They are simply differences.
We do not have to make everything a problem.
We do not have to make everything a debate.
We do not have to turn neutral choices into identity statements.
People can do things differently than you — and nothing has gone wrong.
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Let’s turn this into a tool.
This week, I want you to practice something I call: Spot the Neutral Choice.
And this isn’t just about Christmas trees. This is about retraining your brain to stop burning energy where it doesn’t need to.
Here’s how:
One: Notice something you automatically judge in someone else.
It might be subtle — a friend’s parenting style, someone’s food choices, how early someone posts holiday décor, or even how a co-worker organizes their desk. Pay attention to that tiny spark of “that’s not how I would do it.”
Two: Pause and ask yourself:
“Is this actually wrong? Or is it just different than how I would do it?”
Our brains love to label different as wrong because it feels safer that way. It gives us the illusion of control and certainty. But once you start questioning that default reaction, it opens up a surprising amount of mental space.
Three: If it’s neutral — drop the argument.
Not out of passivity, but out of intentional choice. Because every time we decide not to pick up an unnecessary mental battle, we reclaim energy.
You might be shocked by how many things fall into this category.
How someone loads the dishwasher.
How someone wraps gifts.
When someone starts holiday music.
How someone dresses.
The route someone chooses to drive.
None of it matters.
And when your brain stops policing every neutral preference in the world around you, here’s what happens:
You get calmer.
You get more open.
You get less reactive.
You stop wasting emotional fuel on things that don’t change your life.
We all only have so much bandwidth in a given day. Mental energy is a finite resource.
So this week — experiment with letting some things go.
Not because you’re lazy or checked out.
But because you’re conserving your energy for the things that actually shape your life.
The conversations that matter.
The values that matter.
The projects and relationships that matter.
Neutral choices are not threats.
They’re just details.
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Decorating for Christmas is a perfect example.
Some years I decorated early.
Some years I decorated late.
Some years I decorated “right on time.”
None of those years were wrong.
They were just different.
And once I saw that clearly with Christmas décor, it made me wonder… where else is this happening?
We do this with so many small (and not-so-small) things.
How someone spends money.
How someone teaches their kids to clean up.
How a partner unloads groceries.
How a friend manages their schedule.
We make these preference differences mean something about what is right and what is wrong — when really, they’re just differences in style, habit, or rhythm.
It can be incredibly freeing to step back and realize:
you don’t have to be the referee of other people’s choices.
You have permission to let your preferences be your preferences — without forcing them to become rules for anyone else.
And you have permission to let other people make their choices — without assigning extra meaning or judgment to them.
Your nervous system relaxes when you stop trying to police everything.
Life is lighter that way.
Thanks for joining me today.
If this conversation gave you even one small shift in perspective — imagine what we could do together in a focused coaching container.
Take care, friend.
And whether you put your tree up weeks ago, or in two weeks, or December 22 — you’re doing it right.
Until next week, keep running to yourself.
