Hey friend, welcome back to Running to Myself.
I want to tell you about an experience I had just the other day…
I woke up in a funk.
You know those mornings?
Nothing horrible had happened, but I was carrying the heaviness of some ongoing hard circumstances.
Have you ever experienced that vague emotional weight that sits on your chest before your feet even hit the floor?
because I’m me… my first thought was:
“Okay. Let’s journal this out.”
I’m a big believer in getting thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
Brain dumping.
Processing.
Making space. Not to roll around in dismay, but to give it a place to sit. It helps me release some of the unnecessary negative thoughts and gives a place to process the hard things that are just always going to feel hard.
So I sat down with my journal fully intending to do exactly that.
But then I remembered something.
The day before had held some really sweet moments. I had the opportunity to host a small party in our home celebrating a dear friend. After all the busyness of getting ready and then a full day of hosting and cleanup, I hadn’t even had time to really sit and reflect on all meaningful little moments that felt special throughout the day.
A quick flicker of thought ran through my mind:
I need to write those down before I forget them.
Because isn’t it funny how quickly we can lose the beautiful things?
The hard things?
Those seem to stick around just fine.
But the sweet moments?
The joy?
The unexpected kindness?
The laughter?
The peaceful conversation?
Those seem to just evaporate if we don’t take time to notice them.
So I made a split-second decision.
Instead of starting with the heaviness, I started with the beauty.
I quickly jotted down everything that had gone right the day before.
And here’s the part that fascinated me. I didn’t have a lot of time to do this, but
By the time I stood up…
the heaviness had lifted.
My chest felt lighter.
My mood had shifted.
I felt noticeably different.
And what stuck out to me most about this was that
I wasn’t trying to fix my mood.
This wasn’t me forcing positivity.
This wasn’t pretending I felt fine.
This wasn’t “good vibes only.”
I wasn’t gaslighting myself.
The heaviness was real.
But something else was also real.
The good from the day before was real too.
And simply choosing to notice that changed how I was feeling within minutes.
________________
I’ve thought about this a lot since that morning.
I think many of us assume that when a negative feeling shows up, it automatically deserves center stage.
if anxiety arrives…
we hand it the microphone.
If frustration shows up…
we clear the room for it.
If discouragement knocks…
we invite it in, make coffee, and let it stay all day.
And listen—I’m not saying negative emotions are bad.
Not at all.
We have access to a full spectrum of emotions for a reason.
Emotions matter.
Some emotions need our attention.
Some feelings are messengers.
Sometimes sadness needs space.
Sometimes grief needs to be honored.
Sometimes anger points to something important.
Sometimes anxiety is telling us to pause and examine what’s going on.
I want to be very clear that this is not an argument for emotional avoidance.
This is not emotional bypassing.
In fact, a lot of coaching is exactly the opposite.
It’s learning to sit with discomfort long enough to understand what’s happening.
But here’s the distinction:
Not every uncomfortable feeling is a five-alarm fire.
Sometimes it’s just emotional weather.
Cloud cover.
A passing system.
And if we immediately interpret every negative feeling as urgent truth…
we can create suffering we didn’t need.
________________
Let me make this practical.
Maybe you wake up thinking:
“I feel off.”
That’s neutral enough. It’s the meaning you attach to that thought that determines the path your emotions will take.
If the next thought is:
“What is wrong with me?”
And then:
“Why am I always like this?”
And then:
“Great. This day is already ruined.”
What happened here?
Did the original feeling ruin your day?
Or was it the story you attached to it?
That’s an important question.
Because we often think emotions are driving the entire experience. But they actually aren’t. Our emotions are a result of the interpretation we layer on top. In other words, our emotions are created from our thoughts.
________________
One of the most empowering things about mindset work is realizing:
You are not powerless in your own mind.
You get to become the gatekeeper.
Not the dictator.
Not the suppressor.
Not the emotional bouncer throwing everything out.
The gatekeeper.
Meaning:
You notice what’s entering.
You evaluate what deserves attention.
You decide what gets reinforced.
Some thoughts deserve curiosity.
Others deserve a polite:
“No thank you.”
________________
If you’re listening right now and thinking:
“Okay…but what do I actually DO?”
Here are four questions you can use.
1. What am I feeling right now?
Name it.
Without drama.
Without judgment.
Heavy.
Frustrated.
Restless.
Sad.
Anxious.
Irritated.
Just name it.
Giving it a name will provide some clarity and clarity reduces chaos.
________________
2. What story am I attaching to this?
This is huge.
The feeling may be one thing.
But the meaning you’re assigning may be creating something entirely different.
For Example:
“I feel tired” becomes “I’m failing.”
“I feel anxious” becomes “Something bad is going to happen.”
“I feel disappointed” becomes “Nothing ever works out for me.”
That leap is where something neutral becomes something negative. But it doesn’t have to be the case. You can keep the original neutral tone if you are paying attention to these other sneaky thoughts trying to make their way in.
________________
3. Is this a Big P Problem?
I love this question. It brings me back to my elementary school teacher days. I can’t take credit for this brilliant distinction. I learned it from listening in on the lessons the guidance counselors would come in to teach the class. Basically, a big P problem is a big deal, for the kids, those would be problems that might require the help of an adult. But a small p problem is something that you can work through on your own.
Back to the adult version for us: is it a Big P Problem?
sometimes yes.
A diagnosis?
A relationship crisis?
A job loss?
A child in trouble?
Yes.
That’s serious
That deserves care and intentional attention.
But other times? Well, sometimes it’s a small p problem.
You slept badly.
Your hormones are doing what hormones do.
You’re overstimulated.
You’re hungry.
You got a frustrating email.
Not the same thing.
Not every discomfort needs to be a catastrophe.
________________
4. What else is also true?
This is a game changer. I use it a lot with my coaching clients. And with myself.
What else is true?
I feel anxious…
AND I’ve handled hard things before.
I feel discouraged…
AND this is not the whole story.
I feel overwhelmed…
AND I can do one next right thing.
I feel heavy…
AND there were beautiful things in my day too.
That question creates space.
________________
Looking back, that’s exactly what happened for me.
I didn’t deny the heaviness.
I simply widened my view..
Instead of letting one feeling define reality, I took notice of another truth that was also there.
It was that tiny shift that changed my experience.
my circumstances didn’t change.
My attention changed.
It is important to make that distinction. I didn’t need my circumstances to change to relieve the heaviness. A simple change of focus did that for me.
________________
This is the kind of work we do in coaching all the time.
Not “think positive.”
Not “just be grateful.”
Not pretending life isn’t hard.
But learning how to separate:
What happened
from
the story you’re telling about what happened.
Learning how to recognize patterns.
Learning how to stop handing every unhelpful thought full control.
The women I work with are not lacking intelligence.
They’re not weak.
They’re not incapable.
They’re simply stuck in patterns they’ve practiced for years.
Patterns that feel automatic because they’ve been repeated so often.
But once you see the pattern
You open the door for change
The awareness gives you an opportunity to make a choice
And a new choice creates change.
________________
This is actually the perfect time to tell you something I’m really excited about.
I have been building something behind the scenes that is opening later this month.
It’s called The Mindset Map Collective.
And if you’ve ever listened to this podcast and thought:
“How do I actually DO this kind of work?”
This is for you.
Because mindset work sounds great in theory.
But in real life?
Most people need structure.
A process.
A way to actually identify what’s happening in their thinking.
That’s what this program does.
The Mindset Map Collective is a guided experience where I walk you through learning how to:
Notice your thoughts
Identify your patterns
Understand how those patterns create feelings, actions, and results
And then begin intentionally creating new patterns.
awareness alone is helpful.
But awareness plus practice..
That’s where transformation happens.
Doors open June 22.
And I’ll be sharing more over the next few weeks.
I’m so excited because this is the exact kind of work that helps women stop feeling at the mercy of their own minds.
________________
Before we wrap up, here’s what I want to leave you with.
The next time a hard feeling shows up…
pause before making it the whole story.
Ask:
Is this a Big P Problem?
And then ask:
What else is also true?
That one question might create more breathing room than you realize.
And if you’re ready to go deeper—
if you’re tired of repeating the same emotional loops…
if you’re tired of believing every thought your brain offers…
if you want support learning how to actually manage your mind—
coaching is where that work gets personal.
You can book a consultation with me through the link in the show notes.
And if The Mindset Map Collective sounds like exactly what you’ve been needing, stay close.
Doors open June 22.
Listen friend, your thoughts may be familiar…
but they are not in charge.
Until next time, keep running to yourself.
